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Post by madkill on Sept 13, 2008 10:49:05 GMT -5
What's the point?
Why even bother?
The only things that come to mind are,
'oh brother...'
Not that I'm annoyed,
or even 'destroyed',
just feeling a sense (or senses)
of a recreational void,
Something deviant,
or perhaps shallow minded,
nothing seems much worse,
than when it's collided,
change your ways!
why should I change mine?
you're nothing 'divine',
(While sighing)...So Sublime
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Post by Payrune on Sept 13, 2008 15:57:24 GMT -5
Awesome. For some reason though, I can only see the words when I highlight them... How'd you do that?
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Post by Shinobi-Iri (nick) on Sept 13, 2008 21:17:14 GMT -5
I can see them normally, it's just a colour change on the words. Excellent poem though, it's definitely got rhythm, and I think you've actually made a marked improvement since you started posting here. See, this is what TPR does for people...
Also, I could almost see that being a verse in a rap song, quite honestly, just the way it's written. I've always seen rapping as poetry recital, so maybe that's why.
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Post by Payrune on Sept 14, 2008 1:46:51 GMT -5
Oh yeah, now I see it. I just didn't realize at first because it was so damn bright. Still kinda weird for you you to make it like that...
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Post by madkill on Oct 1, 2008 20:09:32 GMT -5
Oh yeah, now I see it. I just didn't realize at first because it was so damn bright. Still kinda weird for you you to make it like that... I forgot that there are two separate themes so I can see why. Going to change it to default instead. Also, I actually have been posting stuff up elsewhere, i.e. DeviantArt and Thepoetryforum.co.uk  but still, you're half right.  Anyway...yeah...also, rapping is just constant rhyming couplets, rarely any raps are actually good because they lack, well...vocabulary and well...95% of them are sh!t. the 5% would be the ones that you may or may not like. Oh yah...look at the 'Without a Cloud' one, it's also one you may or may not like. |
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