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Post by madkill on Jun 8, 2008 7:14:22 GMT -5
LuLa-ByeTwinkle Twinkle, Little Star, Is this really who you are? Like a diamond in the sky, why do you hate me so? why, why, why?! Twinkle Twinkle little star I'm so young, yet I travel so far... I wondered why, And really what for? just to be shut away when I reached your door. -[Link]
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Post by Shinobi-Iri (nick) on Jun 9, 2008 2:36:07 GMT -5
This is an interesting take on an old favorite. It seems to exhibit a sense of loneliness and desperation, and if I had to liken it to something it would be orphans or refugees. Thanks for putting this here though mad, you're a regular contributor to our poetry section here and you've done it again, good on you. ;D
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Post by madkill on Jun 9, 2008 6:01:52 GMT -5
Yay, Thanks. ^^
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Post by falseprophet on Jun 23, 2008 14:06:53 GMT -5
I think the above's interpretations are close to my own opinion of the poem.
The transition between the original rhyme and your own words is painful to say the least. Your own words sink like a lead balloon. Back to the drawing board with this one I'm afraid, Madkill.
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Post by madkill on Aug 2, 2008 20:05:05 GMT -5
maybe I should stanza this poem more correctly to 'perfect' the flow ?
perhaps it's the style you disagree with?..or the focus of it being a sort of, 'me' poem in a sense?..
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