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Post by Payrune on Jun 24, 2008 2:36:17 GMT -5
Awesome, just finished reading the newest one. There's some icky romance here and there but it's all good. And he's taking a job now, huh?
Can't wait to see where you take it from here.
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Post by Shinobi-Iri (nick) on Jun 24, 2008 5:11:07 GMT -5
Awesome, just finished reading the newest one. There's some icky romance here and there but it's all good. And he's taking a job now, huh? Can't wait to see where you take it from here. Thanks for the feedback man, I'm telling you this romance is needed for how the story is going to go, trust me. It will all make sense when the story has reached a culmination. I still haven't figured out what job he should take yet, I have some thinking to do.
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Post by Shinobi-Iri (nick) on Jul 1, 2008 4:07:53 GMT -5
Ok, new chapter is up...and things are getting quite interesting for our hero. Hopefully this chapter will give you some idea of how evil the Valkans truly are, and I do hope it will meet the BD creator's satisfaction... As usual, please inform me of any spelling errors you discover. Shinobi.
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Post by Payrune on Jul 1, 2008 16:31:30 GMT -5
You've done a pretty good job of portraying Alkanson as the cold-hearted, ruthless bastard I originally intended him to be. I think that this part can fit in with the original story as well; maybe later on Alkanson and Aiden meet and engage in a battle, Alkanson has the upper hand for a while before mentioning something about what happened to Tom, and it causes Aiden to go nuts and give it his all, eventually defeating and killing him. He isn't really gone, however, as we know he engaged in acts of cannibalism in order to gain immortality as a spirit after he died, therefore becoming the Wendigo we later know. (Maybe you can have hints of him being a cannibal in some parts of the story? That'd be cool)
Also, this could give reason as to why Alkanson is so intent on causing Syrus and everyone around him so much pain in the original BD story. He's taking revenge on the son of the man who killed him.
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Post by Shinobi-Iri (nick) on Jul 2, 2008 0:47:29 GMT -5
Yeah that's good, seems to tie in with the main BD story. This is beginning to be more like canon BD stuff and less like the fan-fiction I intended it to be, that's excellent. Aiden and Alkanson will meet, I'm hoping. When and where is still to come, but that sounds like a good idea to me.
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Post by Shinobi-Iri (nick) on Jul 7, 2008 3:13:15 GMT -5
New chappy, enjoy.
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Post by Shinobi-Iri (nick) on Jul 23, 2008 7:09:51 GMT -5
I haven't given up on this guys, there's a new chapter on the way and boy is it juicy!
Stay tuned.
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Post by Payrune on Jul 23, 2008 16:13:43 GMT -5
Aww I was hoping for a "new chapter is up" message or something.
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Post by Shinobi-Iri (nick) on Sept 13, 2008 21:21:41 GMT -5
Well, it's been a long time coming, but chapter 8 of 'After the Fall' is finally up. I'm sorry about any spelling errors in advance, I'm a horrible editor and anyone who's read my work for a while knows that. Please, just keep your feedback to this thread and if you have any question, ask them here.
That is all, Shinobi.
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Post by Payrune on Sept 14, 2008 3:04:15 GMT -5
Finally a new chapter. It was nice to see what the governments were like and all, and the plot seems to be moving forward now. I'm also curious as to who the rat could be...a complete unknown, maybe? Anyway, nice chapter overall. I was hoping to see some more of Alkanson, get into his psychotic side and all. Maybe show some acts of cannibalism he engages in during his free time, which he hides from his comrades. They know he's fucked up in the head and twisted, they just don't know how much. Heh.
But don't rush it. Take it at your own pace and write it as you see fit.
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Post by Shinobi-Iri (nick) on Sept 16, 2008 4:42:20 GMT -5
Thanks Payrune, you've just given me a great idea for the next chapter. You'll see some psychotic-ness from Alkanson, don't worry about that.
I was wondering, could you do me a rough map of Valkania and Falachia?
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Post by Payrune on Sept 16, 2008 5:19:08 GMT -5
I myself have never really had it in my head where exactly all the BD locations are, but I'll try to think up and draw something whenever I can.
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Post by Shinobi-Iri (nick) on Oct 3, 2008 5:30:09 GMT -5
Hey guys, new chapter is up now so get reading! Sorry, but it's a bit shorter than most, but it's no less juicy, and you'll see a side to Alkanson I'm sure you're expecting. All I can say is Williamson, poor bastard...
Also, make sure you read my new short story "Shellshocked" and tell me what you think. I reckon it's a bit different, and I hope you all enjoy it.
Happy reading,
Shinobi.
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Post by Payrune on Oct 3, 2008 16:11:52 GMT -5
*Takes a bite outta the dude's friggin' finger then throws it to him* "I love the taste of justice." lol, BADASS. I'm looking forward to seeing more of his ruthless brutality, it's really the highlights for me. Not saying to overuse the character too much though, cause as it is you're portraying him greatly and his short appearances are what makes me crave more of him.
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